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Author: Greg Clarkin

The Talker (Part 1)

Published by Greg Clarkin on March 16, 2018

Jack McKay knew something was wrong as soon as he opened his mouth to order lunch. It had been a long morning of anchoring the news. There were thirty-seven minutes on air narrating a slow moving police chase, officers were pursuing a man driving a stolen John Deere riding mower through a suburban neighborhood, and there were twenty-one minutes of continuous coverage of a storm that was still two days away. As he knew all too well by now, the storm was expected to bring either drizzle, or rock-sized hail to the area.

Incentives “R” Us

Published by Greg Clarkin on March 9, 2018

“Welcome back to the Big News Show. Tonight’s top story, industry heavyweight Gargantua picks Central City as the site for its new corporate headquarters. The company is receiving $4 trillion in incentives, including a 15% ownership stake in the state, as part of the package to relocate to Central. I’m joined by Gargantua’s founder and CEO, Ben Grabalot.”

(Grabalot nods and smiles)

“Ben, explain to our viewers why Gargantua is worth $4 trillion in incentives to relocate here to Central City.”

Fight, Fight, Fight, for Old CU

Published by Greg Clarkin on March 2, 2018

“Good morning, class, and welcome to the graduate business school at Corrupt University. It’s great to see so many smiling, young faces, eager to learn the tricks to success in the corporate boardroom. Oh look, a question already.”

“Your website says we’ll get a one of a kind MBA.”

“Yes, our degree in Misleading Business Administration is a surefire ticket to a fat-cat corporate position. A full seventy-percent of our grads are busy right now deceiving investors, and earning big money doing so.”

Ka-ching

Published by Greg Clarkin on February 23, 2018
U.S. Mint

They land with a loud, dull clank in the change tray of the ticket vending machine. If you’re like me, your first thought as you scoop them out is, how do I get rid of them?

They’re the $1 coin. The unpopular, unloved and underutilized member of the coin family.

You’ll get them mostly from vending machines of one sort or another. And when you do, it becomes a monetary version of the old hot potato game. Who can I give them to next? Or, where’s another vending machine that will accept them?

The Big Con

Published by Greg Clarkin on February 16, 2018

It was time to make my move. Recognize the opportunity. Seize the day. All that fortune cookie stuff.

The maker of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream, and a zillion other products we all know, eat, or use, put Facebook and Google on notice. Clean up the garbage on your platforms, or we might yank some of the billions of dollars we spend buying online ads.

Buffett and the Butterfly, Part 2

Published by Greg Clarkin on February 9, 2018

(When last we left the members of the Organization of Smartphone Exporting Companies, or OSPEC, Professor Frequent Upgrade was trying desperately to convey to the world’s smartphone ministers the grave threat Warren Buffett presented to their business. But the mere sight of a butterfly had terrified them.)