(When last we left the members of the Organization of Smartphone Exporting Companies, or OSPEC, Professor Frequent Upgrade was trying desperately to convey to the world’s smartphone ministers the grave threat Warren Buffett presented to their business. But the mere sight of a butterfly had terrified them.)
Upgrade placed the jar on the table. Inside it a butterfly flitted about, bumping off the sides, then hitting the cover, and finally coming to rest on the bottom. The room was silent, and then one by one the executives emerged from under the table, from behind their chairs, and from the corners of the room. They pulled themselves together, and went back to their seats, moving tentatively and keeping an eye on the exotic creature.
“It…it can’t get out, can it?” the Apple representative asked.
Professor Upgrade watched and waited for order to be restored. When he was satisfied, he picked up the jar and began walking around the room, showing off the butterfly as he went. The phone execs cowered when the jar came close. The man from Lenovo moaned in fear as it passed. The man from Vivo turned his head, and covered his eyes.
“Well, well, our rich and powerful technology executives are frightened by a harmless, little butterfly. Yet, you are not fearful of Warren Buffett,” Upgrade said. “Little butterfly, fearful. Warren Buffett, not fearful. Yet one can hurt us, and one can’t. Who can tell me which one can hurt us?”
“The butterfly can sting,” one of the smaller phone company execs yelled, from the far end of the room.
There were shouts of “yeah,” and “that’s right.”
Upgrade made his way back to the head of the table, shaking his head. “Idiots,” he said. “Has no one ever heard of The Butterfly Effect?”
“It’s a country song,” someone yelled.
“I can look it up on my phone. If I could have my phone back,” another exec said.
“No,” Upgrade barked. “No phone. This is butterfly time, not phone time.”
The professor placed the jar on the table, sat down, and said, “Let me try this another way. Have you ever heard of Chaos Theory?”
Upgrade scanned the sea of blank stares he was getting, and kept going. “In Chaos Theory it is believed that one flap of a butterfly’s wings can influence the weather. Maybe even influence the creation, and deadly path of a tornado. The Butterfly Effect. Now do you understand?”
Halfway down the table, an executive rubbed his chin deep in thought, and said, “So, you’re telling us that a tiny, minor action, somewhere far away, can lead to big consequences?”
“Yes,” Upgrade yelled, “big and unanticipated consequences.”
Upgrade took the picture of Buffett and waved it. “Think of Mr. Buffett’s statement about how he doesn’t use a smartphone, as the flap of a butterfly’s wings. By itself the statement seems harmless. Here today, forgotten tomorrow. But…but…”
Upgrade’s voice trailed off and he looked around the room at the world’s smartphone ministers. No one seemed to be getting what he was saying. It was sad, really, he thought. They were trying, but they were confirming what he had long suspected. They just weren’t that bright.
“But what if Buffett’s statement resonates with someone?” he asked. “Maybe more than one person? What if that person, or persons, decides to get rid of their smartphone for a…”
“Don’t say it,” a voice yelled.
“A flip phone,” Upgrade said.
“Ahhh,” more than one exec howled.
“Yes… a…”
“No, not again,” someone yelled.
“Flip phone,” Upgrade said. “What if one person, then two, then three, then four…”
“Please, stop,” someone yelled.
“And so on, and so on,” he said. “What if they all decide to trade in their smartphones for flip phones? What do we have then, I ask you. What do we have then?”
“Chaos,” someone yelled.
“Yes, chaos. Real Chaos Theory,” Upgrade screamed. “That is why we need a plan. Now. Something that will help us counter Mr. Buffett’s wisdom.”
There was a lull as the executives set about to thinking about the call for a plan.
“I got it,” the Huawei executive said, after a moment. “How about an ad campaign saying, What Does Warren Buffett know anyway?”
“Ah, he’s like a successful billionaire investor. One of the best of all time,” the Apple exec said. “Plus he owns a truck load of our stock, so, I’m going to assume he knows quite a bit.”
“Anyone else,” Upgrade asked.
The man from ZTE raised his hand. “Okay, so how about we focus on something that we know is true instead?”
That brought chuckles from around the table and broke the tension.
“Like’s that’s stopped us before,” someone said.
Upgrade raised a hand to get them back on point. “What did you have in mind?”
“An ad campaign with the tag line, Warren Buffett is old.”
“And losing his mind,” someone added.
“Hmmm, no…no…,” Upgrade said. “I don’t see that necessarily working.”
More ideas were tossed out. None seemed to work. Then, from the far end of the room, one of the smallest of the small smartphone makers piped up.
“How about this, a campaign that says, imagine how much more successful Warren Buffett would be if he used a smartphone?”
The executive’s words sat there, hanging in the air. The frowns and pained looks of the group slowly disappeared, giving way to smiles. Upgrade nodded from his seat at the head of the table. The Samsung executive nodded his approval.
“I’m glad I thought of that,” the Apple executive said.
“Hey,” the man who thought of it said.
“Sue me,” the Apple executive said.
“Yes,” Professor Upgrade said, rising and clapping his hands. “I think that’s it.”
There were hoots and hollers, and pretty soon the executive who had offered the idea was getting pats on the back, and loads of attaboys. Upgrade smiled and said, “Yes, that’s it. That’s how we combat any possible Buffett Butterfly Effect.”
“Screw the butterfly,” someone yelled.
“Yeah, who’s afraid now?” another man asked.
Upgrade smiled and clapped, and yelled, “Yes,” and slammed a fist on the table.
And the impact of his fist caused the jar to jump, then tip over. The top fell off, and the celebration stopped. There were gasps as the butterfly flew out, and began to zig, and zag around the room. Then there were screams of terror, and a mad scramble to flee the butterfly.
“Talk about Chaos Theory,” someone yelled above the din.