I was busy staring at the menu for the cafe around the corner trying to find the brown rice option for my lunch order when Wilson walked into the office. Or at least I thought it was Wilson.
He came in, stepped over the cables of the Tornadex, and sat down across the desk from me. I adjusted my face mask and looked him over, not quite sure if I was seeing what I was seeing.
“You’re wearing pajamas,” I said.
Wilson nodded but didn’t say anything. I got up, went over and turned the Tornadex off. I was relishing the day when I no longer needed the jet-engine powered air purifier. I sat back down and Wilson was still there. And still in pajamas.
“That’s um, Bob the Builder, right?” I asked. “On your, ah pajamas?”
Wilson nodded again, his eyes wider now. “Yes,” he said, “and did you notice I’m wearing the matching Bob the Builder face mask?”
“I think the face mask may be the least of your issues at the moment,” I said.
Wilson brushed and smoothed out a sleeve of the PJs like it was an expensive suit that he didn’t want wrinkled.
“Did you, uh, put those on once you got here to the office?” I asked, fishing around for clues to explain why my grown colleague was sitting in front of me in pajamas, let alone ones with a children’s cartoon character on them.
“Oh, no,” he said, as if I were the crazy one. “I changed into them this morning. They’re a fresh, clean pair I put on after I got up, worked out and showered.”
I suddenly had a newfound respect for psychiatrists.
“So, you left the house dressed like that, and I’m assuming you stopped for coffee like you usually do, and then you came into work. And all this while you’re dressed in your pajamas?”
“Yup, pretty cool, huh? It’s so liberating,” Wilson said. “You should try it. And it’s a super comfortable way to work. They breathe easy, and are so easy to move around in them. And perfect for that time in the afternoon when you just want to close your eyes and get a few minutes rest.”
I did some more nodding because that’s what psychiatrists in the movies seemed to do. I also made sure to not make any sudden moves, worried that Wilson was in a fragile place. We were still among the handful of people back in the office, and maybe the quiet, and lack of human interaction, had finally gotten to him. Maybe he had snapped and was now unable to discern his surroundings, or differentiate from being home or being in the office.
Wilson was busy checking his phone and his visit seemed to be nothing more than a routine waste of a colleague’s time, the kind of thing that happens dozens of times a day in offices across the country. But I knew this was different, this was a call for help. It had to be.
“Okay, look,” I said, “this is coming from a friend, not just a co-worker, but I’m not sure it’s a great idea to show up for work in your jammies. And that’s just the beginning. It doesn’t even address why a grown man has Bob the Builder pajamas, let along the fact that some company actually makes them in adult sizes.”
“What’s the big deal?” Wilson asked.
“The big deal?” I asked. “Let’s say Roz, or someone else in a position of perceived power showed up here unannounced today and sees you dressed like that. I’m guessing at the very least it’s something that might come up in your review.”
“Oh come on,” Wilson said. “Everyone is wearing pajamas everywhere. Haven’t you noticed? They’re the new fashion trend.”
I gave that some thought, replaying my trip to pick up the takeout last night, and the stop at the grocery store the other day, and the quick pop into the post office earlier in the week.
“No, I hadn’t really noticed. And I’m pretty sure I would have remembered seeing people out and about in pajamas,” I said.
“Oh, you’re just not paying close enough attention,” Wilson said. “Come on, let’s go get lunch, you’ll see.”
I hesitated in answering because I still hadn’t found out if there was a brown rice option at the place around the corner, and because the idea of walking around in public next to Wilson in his pajamas was a little unsettling.
But I’d play along. We left the office and walked past all the empty offices of our colleagues who were working from home. The only other person on our side of the office was Andy the Suck Up and he was usually too busy on some Zoom call to notice anyone going past his office. Except for today.
“Hey,” he yelled as we passed,” you guys going for grub?”
“Yeah, you want to come?” Wilson asked, before I could lie and say no.
Andy stepped into the hallway to join us. He was dressed in black pajamas with images of the planets scattered about. There was Jupiter up around his chest, and Saturn just below, and I believe that was Mars on a sleeve. To top it all off, he had on big fur-lined slippers.
“Hey,” Andy yelled when he got a look at Wilson, “great jammies. I’ve been looking for a Bob the Builder set.”
“And I love the planets theme,” Wilson said. “Where on Earth, pun intended, did you get those?”
The two traded stories on where to get kids cartoon pajamas and other novelty PJs. All the talk was about what websites had the best selection, best prices, easiest refund polices. I had had enough and cleared my throat.
“Getting kind of hungry here,” I said.
We were in the elevator a moment later when it occurred to me I was going to be walking around with two guys in pajamas like I was their caretaker. We got off the elevator and crossed the lobby when the security guy at reception yelled out to us.
“Hey, Bobby B,” he yelled to Wilson, giving him a thumbs up. “Looking good.”
Wilson waved back. “Feeling good.”
Outside we hadn’t gone a block when I noticed one, two, three people wearing sleepwear of some sort. At the corner a woman in a shiny sleepwear set complimented Wilson and Andy.
She turned to me, looked me over and asked, “And why are you dressed like that?”